Procrastination! It’s just the way we feel

Procrastination! It's just the way we feel

This quote is attributed to both Charles Dickens and Edward Young, which I know because I googled it, along with lyrics from Alphabeat’s ‘Fascination’ (I really shouldn’t have needed to check that) in order to avoid writing my essay. It’s a funny state of mind, knowing that there’s something you really need to do, and pretty soon, but just pushing it right out of your mind like an unwanted child from its pram. I like to think it’s my fundamental antipathy towards authority – I don’t wanna be told what to do when, like totally fuck the system yeh.

More realistically it’s just because I’m undisciplined and weak and terrified that I might not be as capable as I think I am. But enough of that, people can change right? RIGHT?

O Brixton, why was I in thee?

It was one of those nights last night: where your friend assures you there’s a free gig in Brixton that’s worth leaving your cosy bed for. You agree to ‘prinks’ at his halls, which though fun, is on the other side of London. Then you end up spending about an hour getting the wrong train (pretty much past where you started) and walking aimlessly through residential areas until you stumble upon a run down pub and he exclaims, “this is it!”.

When you go in, there’s a stage with no band on it and ‘that guy’ your friend knows isn’t here and isn’t answering his phone (of course). So basically you’re just in a shitty pub miles away from home for no apparent reason. You neck a beer and quickly need to use the toilette, where you discover some pretty good graffiti to read while you empty your bladder:

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Classic rhyming and a solid message there; very reminiscent of that t shirt you had from Pilot when you were about 12 that said ‘make love not war’. You emerge, stumbling slightly from the top up booze you bought from Sainsburys on the way, and sit down with your friends, who by this point are melting wax on the flame of a candle to entertain themselves. Quick smoke break…
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… Then you decide to leave, and march down Brixton high street in the hope of finding somewhere that will somehow fill your empty soul. You’re just about to call it quits and hop on the 88 when in the distance something emerges… Another shitty pub!

You enter to the sound of maudlin 40 year olds taking advantage of an open mic night to pour out their post post adolescent angst about their failed marriage and how much their children hate them. You sit on a sofa in the corner feeling nauseous (alcohol induced, but there’s probably some existential anxiety in there too) and a forty year old with two kids chats up that friend who looks like, totes old, what with his beard and all. One last drink, a top up from behind the bar while the bar tender isn’t looking to feel bad as fuck, and you’re ready to head off.

And now comes the best bit of the night…

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Cheesy chips with dat sweet BBQ sauce to slurp off your fingers while sat on the ground waiting for the bus to deposit you at least within walking distance of your tiny, messy, so-studenty-it-hurts hellhole of a bedroom. You eventually get home and have a spliff, despite having loudly declared that you’d ‘quit weed’ cos you didn’t enjoy all of that paranoid anxiety. But drunk you pays no heed, and you end up passed out in your bed, waking up with yesterday’s make up smeared across your face like the unintentional clown that you are.

And now here you are, writing a fucking blog post about it.

Marriage, Maisie and Madalyn

“In my opinion, nothing changes after you get married. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Maybe when I fall in love, I’ll change my mind, but right now? It just makes it harder to break up. You can’t just leave. I’d never want to be trapped. I never like to stay in one place too long. I always flit around, I never settle anywhere. So being married would be being trapped.”

 

arya

 

Maisie Williams, aka Ayra Stark, on marriage. She’s just about the age that I was when I realised that I never wanted to get married, after reading Madalyn Murray O’Hair’s Playboy interview (http://www.antitheists.co.uk/madalyn-murray-ohair-playboy-interview.php). To avoid you having to scroll through and tire out your fingers here’s the relevant bit:

 

Well, I’ve found that most people who are bound together legally would be a damn sight happier together — or apart — if they were released from the contract. A man-woman relationship is physical and emotional, not legal. Legality can’t create love if it isn’t there, or preserve it if it’s dying, but it can destroy love by making it compulsory. You don’t need a marriage license to live with someone, to have the security of a home, to rear any number of children, to have years of companionship; it’s not illegal, but the moment you want to screw somebody, you have to get a license from the state to use your genital organs”

 

Madalyn Murray Ohair2

 

Both of these women are/were cool as shit and I’m glad they agree with me (does that mean I’m cool?????).

Pig in the city: the best things in life are free

Today is Ben & Jerry’s annual ‘free cone day’, where the company forces their poor employees to dress in cow onesies and shout at people about £0 ice cream. Even if it’s just trying to keep up their brand image, it was still fucking free, and I’m a poor student with a penchant for icy treats, so I headed down to Leicester Square to pick up some of that sweet, creamy goodness. 

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While I was in Leicester Square I thought I might as well go and pay homage to our evil capitalist overlords at M&M World, which is the closest thing to hell I can possibly think of. You’d think that it would at least be olfactorily amazing, but although overpowering, it certainly wasn’t pleasant – it was as though somebody had sharpened a pencil into advent calendar chocolate (one of those really shit ones from Poundland as well) and wafted it through the air conditioning. Although I have a deep agape kind of love for humanity, sometimes I am mightily misanthropic, and this awful shop brought it out, like, a LOT. There were people everywhere, giggling and unironically taking photographs of themselves with extraordinarily frightening giant M&Ms…

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This is my Eleanor Pigby look: all the lonely people, where do they all belong? Not in this shop, that’s for sure – what with all the families and happy people and that. I don’t think I need to explain to you why four anthropomorphised M&Ms pretending to be the Beatles is one of the worst things ever, it just is. I managed to fight all the under-10s to get this picture, with one mother telling her son that he could “go after the pig” very nonchalantly – and there’s me thinking I was making a statement. 

The merchandise was just as horrific as the shiny plastic statues of pure branding that stood smiling vacantly at every turn:

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Given my post this morning about my inability to wake up, I thought I’d post this gem, with our oh so girly M&M wearing rollers DESPITE HAVING NO FUCKING HAIR. This is a feminist statement about the unecessary feminisation of characters or something like that (idk, check out FeministFrequency on YouTube, she knows about this shit) with me hiding my actually very beautiful face cos THAT’S NOT ALL THERE IS TO ME YO. After this pic I couldn’t stand the hordes of screaming children and blank-eyed tourists anymore so I exited sharpish with my photographer (i.e. my friend).

So to conclude: Ben & Jerry’s is fine because I’m a hypocritical middle class girl who likes free shit and tasteful marketing, but M&M World is not fine because I’m a hypocritical middle class girl…oh ok, we’ve been through this. 

 

Whenever, wherever, I SLUMBER

I had glandular fever a few years ago and now I find it pretty damned hard to wake up. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve got into going to sleep at around 4am (blame ‘Drag Race’), but I’ve always been able to sleep through alarms that go off right next to me. I’ve somehow managed to get through my first year of university without getting kicked out for poor attendance purely because I didn’t have many early lectures.

Does anyone have any good advice on waking up?

P.s. the relevance of the vid is that when I DO finally swim up from the dark lake of slumber, it’s pretty great to start the day to.

Hatie Kopkins

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I’m supposed to be writing essays for this ol’ degree thing that I’m doing, but once again I’ve been dragged into watching Katie Hopkins, professional trollumist, spewing vitriol on YouTube. I know that I should ignore her because she’s vicious and awful on purpose. She is, as Peaches Geldof, who sadly passed away today, brilliantly called her, a “rent-a-gob”. I’m sure I’m not alone in having this perverse desire to be outraged – I suppose it is human nature to need somebody to hate. Although her ‘just being honest’ persona is clearly exaggerated and crafted to garner as much attention as possible, perhaps her infamy is indicative of our society’s thirst for some form of honesty in a world where we are constantly lied to.

Should we engage people with outrageous views in discussion, or just ignore them and hope they go away? A recent article in the Independent suggested that the media behaves irresponsibly in giving Nigel Farage so much attention, but is this borne of a fear that really, people might agree with him? Perhaps this shows disdain for the general populace: they cannot be trusted to resist charismatic, sensationalist characters who confirm their perceived prejudices. Then again, you may remember the outrage over a Return of Kings article (this is one of my masochistic hotspots – avoid like the plague if you have anything productive to do) about the merits of dating girls with an eating disorder. The Vagenda Team (@vagendamagazine) tweeted to advise people to stop linking to the article, because it gave the ‘sad wankers’ exactly what they wanted.  Is the best thing to do to pay no mind to those who live under bridges; to deny them a reaction?

The only issue with doing this is that we risk stunting discussions that need to be had. People do have issues with and prejudices about immigration, fat people, women, children’s names (ok, that one might just be Katie), and we need to have open conversations about these in society. It seems as though we are stuck slightly between a rock and a hard place though – if we ignore them then it feels as though we are not defending the values we hold dear, but if we engage them then we allow their views to gain more merit than they deserve. The voices we hear in the media are often not the voices of everyday people, and by demonising ‘trolls’ we may push people into their arms, because they are actually addressing problems that are so frequently brushed under the carpet. Perhaps what we need to do is to initiate more of these discussions, to talk about things without immediately shouting people down if they don’t agree with us, even though that’s such a tempting thing to do. ‘The Big Benefits Row’ seemed like it could be good for this, but alas, KT hopped on board and it was reduced to a rabble that got absolutely nowhere. What to do? (Other than not invite Katie Hopkins on, for my sanity and grades if nothing else)

 

 

 

Warpaint – Disco//Very – Keep It Healthy

Easily the coolest thing I’ve seen this week – granted it’s Monday, but it’s been a jam-packed day. I’m loving that the female indie-rock band is becoming a staple of modern culture; it’s bloody brill from both feminist and musical perspectives. This makes me want to swagger into a room and stare everyone the fuck down, which is what all music should do really.

 

Nobody Anywhere Should Care About Madonna’s Armpits

Be Young & Shut Up

Yeesh, Madonna. Okay, this is not news, so don’t expect me to spend more than several words on this. Madonna recently snapped this picture with the caption, “Long hair…… Don’t Care!!!!!! #artforfreedom #rebelheart #revolutionoflove.”

First off, Madonna did this in the 1980s and we’re still alive. Second, the multitude of white lady celebrities who have done this include Patti Smith, Julia Roberts, Helena Bonham Carter, Sophia Loren, and the list goes on. That’s cool, Madonna. You do you. But also note to people out there making statements: is there anything more #WhiteWomensFeminism than declaring yourself part of some “revolution” ( and one “of love,” at that) because you Instagrammed your armpit hair? (No.)

My first reaction was “Well, at least she’s not being racist again.” Except maybe yeah, kinda. If we’re going to make any…

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The Piggy Bank

Greek Austerity

I came across this Vice article today (http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/four-years-of-greek-austerity-in-fourty-pictures), showing the effects of austerity in Greece. The pictures gave me a well-needed reminder not to be so London-centric, and to remember that much of the world is suffering a hell of a lot. We should all remember our privilege, and pigs of course.